Player Profile: Adrian Addala

Name: Adrian Addala
Age: 30
Position: Def RCL / Mid RCL


Q. What scared you most as a child?
A. Going to school.

Q. Who did you support as a child and who were you favourite players?
A. Up until the age of 15 I supported Liverpool, probably because they were wining everything at the time. Then Paul Kelly introduced me to QPR and I haven’t looked back since.

My favourite players when I was younger would be John Barnes and Lothar Matthaus. Recently it would have to be the great Zinedine Zidane.

Q.What's the funniest thing that has happened to you during a match?
A. I was playing in a match for another team. Our goalkeeper managed to put the ball in his own net from his own kick. In his defence, it was a bit windy that day. It was still embarrassing for us as a team and even more so the goalkeeper.

Q. What's the worst thing anyone has ever done or said to you?
A. The worst thing that has happened to me while playing for Loko was being forced to wear the tightest shorts going and odd coloured socks as there were no other kit left to choose from. I will never forget what Brian Furlong said to me after the match. He said, “I almost looked pornographic”.

Q. What makes you laugh and why?
A. I was one of the few living witnesses that saw Nigel Rose (former player) score a 30-yard screamer for Lokomotiv. If you were ever lucky enough to see Nigel play, you probably understand why I found it quiet humorous.

Q. What talent do you wish you had?
A. To make lots of money.

Q. What is your best physical feature?
A. My rippling muscles.

Q. What do you most dislike about your physical apperance?
A. You can’t expect me to answer that. That’s private.

Q. How do you think other people see you?
A. Hopefully someone they can trust and can get on with.

Q. And how do you see yourself?
A. Someone who is untrustworthy.

Q. What do you consider your biggest attribute as a player?
A. My occasional good cross into the box.

Q. What is your favourite way of relaxing?
A. I like to travel in my spare time and for the rest of the time to relax at home.

Q. Who do you knock around with from Loko and why?
A. I have known Paul Kelly the longest within the team and he introduced me to Lokomotiv in the first place. I also meet up with Julian, Alistair and Rohan to watch the super hoops (QPR) play and have the occasional drink with them.

Match Report: Loko v Hendrix FC

Sunday 26th November 2006
Barnesalona League

Lokomotiv Londres FC v Hendrix FC (Postponed)

(The reverse fixture happend on the 4th February 2007 and the game was played as a double header with the result counting twice. Hendrix FC 0 v Lokomotiv Londres FC 1 [Match Report])

The game today was abandoned after less than five minutes as the heavens opened and subjected the players to a torrential downpour, hailstones and lightening. The starting line up was to be the same team that finished last week, apart from the enforced change of Ivan in place of Liam, who was only visiting last weekend.

The game was moved from our intended pitch (pictured above) to a three-quarter size Junior pitch in order to get the game played, unfortunately the game could not be continued as the pitch became dangerous due to standing water as the game kicked off.

The game has been re-arranged for the 8th April 2007 and will be the clubs last League fixture of the year.

Team Line Up
1. Julian
2. Paul
3. Ivan
4. Pete
5. Rohan
6. Dave W
7. Nick
8. Dale
9. James
10. Roger (c)
11. Ismail
12. Stephen
13. Stefan
14. Mark

Other League Results

South Auckland Rangers 0 v Real Madras FC 2

Match Report provided by Dale Mellor.

Big Match Preview: Loko v Hendrix FC

26th November 2006
Barnesalona League, 10.30am KO
Lokomotiv Londres FC v Hendrix FC

General
The team will change this week as Liam who deputised for the team last week will obviously not be playing. There is the possibility of a return for Stefan, Ivan, Doug, Dave H and Stephen (pictured below) this week, and Dale who got injured last weekend is fit to start. Mark Bullock returns after recovering from his back injury.


Last Season Head-to-Head
Loko Wins 0
Hendrix FC Wins 1
Draws 1

League
22.01.06 Hendrix FC 2 v 2 Loko (Nick, Roger) [Match Report]
19.03.06 Loko 2 v 3 Hendrix FC (Julian 2) [Match Report]

Stat Attack
- Hendrix currently sit in third place in the League with 13 points from seven games. Loko are in fifth with 10 points from seven games.

- Loko will go above Hendrix with a win this weekend as we have a much more superior goal difference. Depending on whether Real Madras lose or draw with Auckland, could see us in third place by the end of Sunday.

- Hendrix have scored 18 goals in seven League games at 2.57 goals a game, compared with 16 goals in seven games for Loko at 2.29 goals a game.

- However, Hendrix have conceded 20 goals in seven League games at 2.86 goals a game, compared with Loko who have the second best defence in the League, behind the leaders Uncle Bob's FC, having conceded only eight goals in seven games at 1.14 goals per game. That equates to a goal conceded every 78 minutes of League action, good stuff Loko!!!

- Our captain Roger still heads the Leagues top goalscoring charts with eight goals in seven games, four clear of second place. Stefan is fifth on the goalscoring charts with three goals. Hendrix FC's top scorers currently sit in seventh and eighth place respectively with three goals a piece.

- In the cup Hendrix are not performing as well with only one win and two defeats from their three games, scoring six and conceding eight.

- Loko have shared the 16 League goals between six players so far this season, Roger 8, Stefan 3, Dave H 2, Mark, Adrian and Dale. Let's get some other people on the scoresheet.

Player Profile: Dugald Agble

Name: Dugald Agble
Age: 36
Position: Def RCL / Mid RCL

Q. What scared you most as a child?
A. Little Red Riding Hood.

Q. Who did you support as a child and who were you favourite players?
A. I supported Arsenal and Paul Davis and Tony Adams were my favourite players.

Q.What's the funniest thing that has happened to you during a match?
A. I managed to kick the football into my balls attempting a clearance.

Q. What's the worst thing anyone has ever done or said to you?
A. People have mistaken me for a Chelsea fan.

Q. What makes you laugh and why?
A. The thought that Sheffield United might survive the drop. [Ed - Is this a bloody conspiracy?]

Q. What talent do you wish you had?
A. Stamina.

Q. What is your best physical feature?
A. Has to be my six pack.

Q. What do you most dislike about your physical apperance?
A. I have massive thighs.

Q. How do you think other people see you?
A. With their eyes.

Q. And how do you see yourself?
A. In the mirror.

Q. What do you consider your biggest attribute as a player?
A. Tenacity.

Q. What is your favourite way of relaxing?
A. Playing a good game of chess on the internet.

Q. Who do you knock around with from Loko and why?
A. I play for Loko because it's good fun.

Match Report: Loko v Uncle Bob's FC

Sunday 19th November 2006
Barnesalona Cup

Lokomotiv Londres FC 1 v Uncle Bob's FC 1

Der Kaiser Unhappy: Wasteful Onkel Bob’s held by Resilient Loko

...and winter begins. A small group of players turned out to brave the cold reminiscent of Loko’s chilly native Siberian plains. Luckily Dale’s friend Liam was on hand to make the numbers up to eleven.

Last season saw several very close matches between these two sides, but Loko earned nothing more than a point from four outings. Having never beaten the champions in six meetings under their former guise ‘Munchen Wandsworth’, the boys were hopeful that they might enjoy better success against the cuddlier-sounding ‘Uncle Bob’s FC’.

At first glance this seemed unlikely. A scratch-built team saw Jules in goal, Liam, Rohan, Pete and Paul K line up at the back, with a midfield of Ismail, Des, Lineker and Nick behind strikers Roger and James. Contrast this with the powerhouse Bob, who had many gigantic players to chuck about.

The first half was essentially a 45-minute scramble in the Loko box. It seemed, after ten minutes, that the StationmastersCats men would soon be exhausted and overrun. In the event, though, a manful defence from all eleven Loko players restricted Bob to a one-nil lead at the break, and that only from loose ball in the area after Pete had bravely blocked a goal bound shot.

Half-Time Loko 0 v Uncle Bob's FC 1

Having lost the toss, Loko had played the first half uphill and into the sun; they now prepared to have a go at Bob with the conditions and pitch to their advantage.

The Loko players launched downhill to let Bob know that he couldn’t afford to relax, and laid siege to his goal for the opening ten minutes. Des, having pushed himself to the limit, hurt his knee and had to swap with goalkeeper Julian. It proved to be a ‘masterstroke of luck’ when shortly afterwards the boss (pictured above) latched onto a low cross from James to place a cute half-volley high into the roof of the net.

The game matured into an even contest in the final half hour, and then reverted to type in the last ten minutes as Bob, with a draw on the cards, went on the offensive once more. In the end though, despite half the team limping about with various injuries, Loko held on for a well-deserved point.

Final Score Loko 1 v Uncle Bob's FC 1

Manager Julian Milne's comments:

"Many positives to take from a strong performance against the current top dogs in the league. Lineker's enthusiasm in turning up early having washed the kit (cheers mate) set the scene, and it was clear the previous week's constructive get together was paying dividends. It was easy managing the 11 players out there because they were positive and looking for ways to resolve any problems in the team's functioning. The performance itself was good, full of crisp passing and improved movement off the ball.

We defended well (as we have all season), especially when Bob dominated in the first half. Particularly pleasing was our defending of set pieces and the numerous long throws against an imposing and confident team. Rohan and Peter won a great deal of challenges, often with the sun in their eyes. Particularly pleasing was Pete's positive reaction to us conceding the goal.

At half time, the growing belief was tangible, and the way we played in the second half was as good as anything we have produced this or last season. Quick to the ball and dangerous on the break, I knew after 10 minutes we would get something from the game. Well done lads and lets keep it up!

Strong performances from everyone and a big thank you to Liam for slotting in at left back. Rohan and Pete are forming a strong centre back partnership and again excelled. Roger held the ball up well and often got into dangerous positions even when isolated. Lineker put in a lot of running and won the ball back on numerous occasions, distributing it adroitly as well. James showed good movement off the ball and was always showing for the ball, eventually setting up the equalising goal with a great run and cross down the right.

Man of the match: Nick - continued his fine form of the last few weeks, epitomised by a lovely turn and run on the break in the second half."

Team Line Up
1. Julian
2. Paul
3. Liam
4. Rohan
5. Pete
6. Dave W
7. Nick
8. Dale
9. James
10. Roger (c)
11. Ismail

Goals
Julian (1)
70th Minute - Good build-up play found James on the right wing, a lovely near post ball found Julian running onto it and he hammered the ball into the top right-hand corner.

Other Cup Results

Our Group
Ladbroke Groovers 2 v Celtic 3

Other Group
Real Madras FC 2 v Cosmopolitan FC 1
South Auckland Rangers 6 v Hendrix FC 0

Match Report to be Provided by Rohan Tesh.

Big Match Preview: Loko v Uncle Bob's FC

19th November 2006
Barnesalona Cup, 10.30am KO
Lokomotiv Londres FC v Uncle Bob's FC

General
It should be a similar team to last week although I believe we may be missing a couple of players of which one may be Stephen. It is hoped that Pete (pictured below) will be returning at the heart of the defence.

Last Season Head-to-Head
Loko Wins 1
Uncle Bob's FC Wins 2
Draws 1

League
02.10.05 Uncle Bob's FC 2 v 1 Loko (Samer) [Match Report]
11.12.05 Loko 3 v 3 Uncle Bob's FC (Dave 2, Dale) [Match Report]

Cup
09.10.05 Uncle Bob's FC 2 v 1 Loko (Andreas) [Match Report]
02.04.06 Loko 2 v 0 Uncle Bob's FC (Win by default) [Match Report]

Stat Attack

- Uncle Bob's FC changed their name before this season. Last season they were known as Munchen and were the League Champions.

- Uncle Bob's FC have had a great start to the season winning six and drawing one in the League, and winning two out of two in the Cup. They currently sit top of the League and second in our cup group behind Barnes.

- In the Cup Bob's have scored nine goals in two games and average 4.5 goals a game. They have only conceded one goal at 0.5 goals per game. Loko have scored six goals in two games at 3 goals per game and conceded three goals at 1.5 goals per game.

- In League competition both Bob's and Loko have the best two defences overall, with Bob only conceding seven goals in seven games and Loko only conceding eight goals in seven games.

- However, in League competition Uncle Bob's are much more potent in front of goal scoring 31 in seven games compared with 16 by Loko.

- Uncle Bob's are still undefeated in all nine Barnesalona games they have played this season, winning eight and drawing one. Loko have won four, drawn one and lost four.

- Last season all the games between us and Uncle Bob's were never seperated by more than one goal, in which the actual match was played, and were close edgey affairs.

- Lokomotiv's Roger is currently top of the League scoring charts with eight goals, and is top of the overall Barnesalona League and Cup charts with 11 goals in nine Barnesalona games. Barnes FC's Alan Cronin is second with nine goals overall.

- A Loko win will see them share second spot in the Cup group on six points with Uncle Bob's FC. A defeat for Loko will see Uncle Bob's FC extend their lead over Loko from three to six points.

Player Profile: David Whittaker

Name: David Whittaker
Age: 32
Position: Mid CL


Q. What scared you most as a child?
A. Cabbage.

Q. Who did you support as a child and who were you favourite players?
A. Had a soft spot for Aston Villa - I was a child and knew no better. Loved a bit of Tony Daley, I wanted to be like him when I grew up, and but for a lack of speed, skill, basic ability and so on...

Q.What's the funniest thing that has happened to you during a match?
A. I take my football very seriously - even if something funny happened, I wouldn't find it funny.

Q. What's the worst thing anyone has ever done or said to you?
A. "Are you a boy or a girl or what?"

Q. What makes you laugh and why?
A. The fact that I go to pieces every time I find myself in front of goal with the ball at my feet - if I didn't laugh I'd cry.

Q. What talent do you wish you had?
A. Making a decent fried egg sandwich.

Q. What is your best physical feature?
A. My left shoulder blade!

Q. What do you most dislike about your physical apperance?
A. The fact that I can never see my left shoulder blade - I've heard it's a beauty...!?!!

Q. How do you think other people see you?
A. Funny (ha-ha, and / or peculiar).

Q. And how do you see yourself?
A. God's gift.

Q. What do you consider your biggest attribute as a player?
A. My ability to keep my eyes open when I head the ball. It's new for me and I'm proud of it, took a lot of hard work.

Q. What is your favourite way of relaxing?
A. Crack, smack and a bit of crochet.

Q. Who do you knock around with from Loko and why?
A. James and Pete, because they let me - also have a weekly game of 5-a-side with them and Peggy.

Match Report: Loko v Ladbroke Groovers

Sunday 12th November 2006
Barnesalona League

Lokomotiv Londres FC 2 v Ladbroke Groovers 0

Ladbroke Lose Control!!?!

It was a cold November morning that greeted the players for what was to be both sides third meeting this season. After a poor performance the weekend before Loko were looking to get back to winning ways against a side they had already beaten 8-1 and 5-0 this season.

Unfortunately, Ladbroke were up to their old tricks again and arrived with only seven players, they quickly borrowed two players from other teams and were forced to start the match with only nine men. The game kicked off late and Loko did the usual warm up routine to keep themselve warm and ready for the delayed kick-off.

It was a familiar Loko side that lined up with Julian in between the sticks, a back four of Paul, Nick, Rohan and Ivan. The gaffer choose to revert the midfield back to its usual personnel with Dave H on the right, Stephen on the left and Dave W and Dale in the centre. Up front saw Captain Roger and James paired up with the task of hitting the back of the net.

It was a shaky start for Loko as a long ball over the top two minutes in saw hesitation between the defenders and the keeper and the Groovers striker nipped in and toe-poked the ball wide. It took a while for the back four to adjust to yet another change of personnel, but slowly they upped their game.

About 20 minutes in, Roger broke the offside trap with the Groovers playing a high line, but overhit his first touch and their keeper came off his line and played the ball out for a Loko throw in. It was the first real spell of pressure for Loko and they eventually made it tell, Stephen was played in down the left, he played the ball across the area for Dave H (pictured right) who drilled the ball low to the keepers left which sneaked inside the near post. It was a great finish and pushed Dave back up to third in the goalscoring charts.

The game was a fractious affair from the off and this wasn't helped by certain Groovers players flailing elbows left, right and centre and hitting the deck every time a challenge was made. At the end of the half Ivan was chopped in two by the striker who then had the audacity to complain at the referee for five minutes that HE had been fouled. An argument broke out on the halfway line between two Groovers players and Roger, who all ended up with yellow cards, and the game was slowly slipping out of the referees control. The referee blew his whistle for half-time 30 seconds after the game re-started.

Half-Time Loko 1 v Ladbroke Groovers 0

Adrian replaced Dave W and Stefan replaced James at half-time and the boss gave the team strict instructions not to drop down to the level of petty arguments that the Groovers were sadly portraying.

The talk seemed to work as Loko started the half brightly, Roger was played through on goal by a neat pass from Dale but unfortunately as he tried to round the keeper, the keeper judged correctly and produced a good save at Roger's feet.

This half was all Loko, who started making the extra men count, they kept the ball extremely well and the movement was much improved on previous weeks with options all around the man on the ball. The second goal didn't take long in coming, some persistant play at the back post and an attempted cross by Paul, was only parried by the goalkeeper to the feet of Stefan (pictured below) two yards out who hit the back of the net easily.

Ladbroke heads appeared to drop and Loko were now retaining possession with ease, it was becoming a one-sided affair and in the 70th minute Ladbroke lost any form of discipline. Twice Stefan was fortunate to avoid an elbow in the side of his head off the ball and when Roger ran for the ball, a speared lunge attempted to cause serious damage, was only unsuccessful due to Roger seeing the tackle early and managing to get out of the way. It was a lucky escape for Lokomotiv's top scorer as it was definitely a hospital tackle waiting to happen.

The referee saw the intent and rightly red carded the Groovers player, who was then followed to the touchline by three other players who refused to continue citing that as they only had nine men he shouldn't be sent off. That logic was obviously incorrect and the referee had no choice but to send the Groovers player from the field of play.

The Railwaymen looked on in astonishment as certain Groovers players flatly refused to continue the game and the referee had no choice but to abandon the game as Ladbroke couldn't continue with only six willing participants.

Loko's players were still trying to stay out of the arguments even with provocation from other individuals, and Roger and Dave H must be commended for the self-restraint they showed when abuse was being levied in their direction. The League gave Loko the points in what was a disappointing Sunday game of football.

Final Score Loko 2 v Ladbroke Groovers 0

Manager Julian Milne's comments:

"It think it was necessary to have the team meeting as soon as possible after a couple of poor performances. It was unfortunate, however, that it was just prior to this niggly match against a nine man team. The nature of the game and the opponents meant it was difficult to detect any immediate improvements but the players deserve praise for their constructive views during the pre-match discussion and subsequent self control during the match. Well done and still three points in the bag.

Man of the match: Rohan."

Team Line Up
1. Julian
2. Paul
3. Ivan
4. Nick
5. Rohan
6. Dave W
7. Dave H
8. Dale
9. James
10. Roger (c) [Y]
11. Stephen
12. Adrian (Replaced Dave W 45th Minute)
13. Stefan (Replaced James 45th Minute)

Goals
Dave H (1)
30th Minute - A ball across the penalty spot by Stephen was drilled into the bottom corner by Dave H coming in at the back post.
Stefan (1)
60th Minute - Good persistant work by Paul at the back post enabled him to attempt a cross to the far post, the keeper parried the ball to the near post where Stefan scored from two yards.

Other League Results
Hendrix FC 4 v Celtic 2
Real Madras FC 2 v West Ken Kings 2
Cosmopolitan FC 0 v Uncle Bob's FC 7
South Auckland Rangers 2 v Barnes FC 2

Match Report Provided by Dale Mellor.

Captain's Corner - November 2006

This is the first installment of Roger's monthly Captain's Corner:

"The season so far has been a real mixed bag. On the positive side we have a squad that is much stronger than last season and in my opinion capable of challenging at the top. However, our results should be better, we have lost to teams that we should be beating.

It's not all doom and gloom, defensively we have been very solid which always gives you a chance of winning. The problem of late seems to be when we get it into the last third we have been creating a lot of chances but unable to convert them.

Our next three games are Ladbroke Groovers and Hendrix FC in the League and Uncle Bob's FC (champions) in the Cup, good results from the league games could easily put us in the top three and in the cup we have only been beaten once and still have six games to play. So we still have a very good chance of finishing in the top two and qualifying for the semi-finals.

We have the squad to do well, we have the heart, but most importantly we must have the will to win. We must approach each game as if it were our only game and there is nothing else. Let us get behind the manager, prepare properly, mentally and physically, work hard for 90 minutes, and fear no one. (Southend v Man Utd)"

Big Match Preview: Loko v Ladbroke Groovers

12th November 2006
Barnesalona League, 10.30am KO
Lokomotiv Londres FC v Ladbroke Groovers

General
It is anticipated that it will be a similar squad to last week, with possibly the addition of Steve M (below left) and Pete (below right) to the line up. Mark is not available as he sustained a back injury last week, and only time will tell when he will recover from this, good luck with getting it right.

Note that a team meeting is scheduled for 9.30am Sunday morning in the usual changing rooms. Please be on time, no excuses will be accepted this weekend.

This Season Head-to Head
Loko Wins 2
Ladbroke Groovers Wins 0
Draws 0

League
17.09.06 Ladbroke Groovers 1 v 8 Loko (Roger 5, Dale, Dave H, Stefan) [Match Report]

Cup
15.10.06 Loko 5 v 0 Ladbroke Groovers (Roger 2, Stephen, Stefan, James) [Match Report]

Last Season Head-to-Head
Loko Wins 2
Ladbroke Groovers Wins 0
Draws 0

League
20.11.05 Loko 5 v 0 Ladbroke Groovers (Andreas 3, Dale, Pete)

[Match Report]
09.04.06 Ladbroke Groovers 2 v 3 Loko (Roger, James, Ismail)

[Match Report]

Stat Attack

- Loko currently sit in 5th place in the League with seven points from six games. The Groovers are currently bottom in 10th place, although they are only three points behind Loko with four points.

- Loko have scored 14 goals in their six League games averaging 2.33 goals per game. The Groovers have scored 15 goals in their games averaging 2.5 goals per game.

- Although over all Barnesalona League and Cup games, Ladbroke have scored 15 goals in nine games at 1.67 goals per game, whereas Loko have scored 20 goals in eight games at 2.5 goals per game.

- Ladbroke have conceded 29 League goals in six games at 4.83 goals per game and 53 goals overall in nine games at 5.89 goals per game. Loko on the other hand have conceded eight League goals in six games at 1.33 per game and overall 11 goals in eight games at 1.38 goals per game.

- Should Loko win this weekend and Madras and Hendrix FC lose, then we would regain third place in the League on goal difference. However, realistically should we lose and other results not go in our favour we could drop to 7th below West Ken Kings and South Auckland Rangers, and even 8th should Barnes overhaul an 11 goal deficit.

- This is our third meeting with Ladbroke this season and in the two seasons we have competed against them in the League we are yet to drop a point against them in four games, scoring 21 and conceding 3.

- Groovers go into the game after a great 3-3 draw against Auckland last time out in the League, Loko were beaten 1-0 by Madras in their last game.

- Ladbroke have a large ex-Loko contingent, most notably their manager Said and playmaker Nordine.

Player Profile: Julian Milne

Name: Julian Milne
Age: 28
Position: Gk / Mid CL / Att Mid CL (Manager)


Q. What scared you most as a child?
A. Player Profiles.

Q. Who did you support as a child and who were you favourite players?
A. Queens Park Rangers. Sir Les and Andy Sinton. Met Andy Sinton when I was mascot for QPR v. Manchester City. We lost 3-1, Paul Parker got sent off for the first (and I think only) time in his career and Simon Barker broke his leg (every cloud...), so not the luckiest. Our official mascot was a black cat that brought us good fortune for many years until it got run over the year we got relegated and went into administration. I wasn't driving the car...

Q.What's the funniest thing that has happened to you during a match?
A. There are many to chose from if you have been a Loko player for several years...

Before we joined the league we participated in the 2001-2002 Barnesalona cup competition. I remember the opposition scoring a blatantly offside goal only for the ref, on this occasion playing for the opposition and in fact the goalscorer, to decide it (he) was in fact onside before reeling away in celebration. Uhmmmmmmm.

Others of note:
- Loko losing 23-1
- Nigel's warm up
- Being sent off for asking the ref to stop ruining our matches by flashing his cards all over the place (I think the irony was lost on him, although Rohan and Dale telling him to F**K OFF and giving him the two finger solute did register. We were reduced to 8!)

Q. What's the worst thing anyone has ever done or said to you?
A. I got head-butted in Paris and broke my nose. My only consolation being that I didn't then start shouting 'I am having a baby in two weeks!'

Q. What makes you laugh and why?
A. The legend that was the previous club captain Paul Dwinfour doing squat thrusts. Sorry Paul... ...no explanation needed!

Q. What talent do you wish you had?
A. I wish I could rap like Robbie Williams.

Q. What is your best physical feature?
A. Some people say I look a lot like Robbie Williams, maybe it is just wishful thinking but I like to believe it sometimes when I am rapping in front of the mirror.

Q. What do you most dislike about your physical apperance?
A. My third nipple simply has to go.

Q. How do you think other people see you?
A. Other people see me as the Robbie Williams of goalkeeping. No one else is going to score when I am in town.

Q. And how do you see yourself?
A. I see myself as a Western European Jan Stejskal.

Q. What do you consider your biggest attribute as a player?
A. My biggest attribute as a player - my reflexes (when in goal), my stamina (when outfield).

Q. What is your favourite way of relaxing?
A. I like a good game of tournament poker.

Q. Who do you knock around with from Loko and why?
A. My Loko buddies are Rohan and my brother Ali, Adrian down at Loftus Road cheering on the fledgling hoops and for the occasional drink. Occasionally play 5-a-side with Pete and James which is always a good laugh.

Kick Racism Out Of Football - Reminder!

This last weekend, there were two unsavory incidents in the Barnesalona League which involved somebody being struck by a fellow opponent, and a referee being racially abused by a player.

I do not believe either incident involved Lokomotiv, however the club will stress that this is a friendly league and no incidents of this kind will be tolerated. Let's continue to ensure that we as a club always set a good example, as we have in the past, and let us continue that trend in the future.

Thanks, Loko.

Match Report: Loko v Barnes FC

Sunday 5th November 2006
Barnesalona Cup

Lokomotiv Londres FC 1 v Barnes FC 3

Couldn't hit a Barnes door

Global warming may in time lead to the melting of glaciers into the very Gulf stream that keeps our climate temperate (about 9 degrees above the average for our latitude), and a subsequent severe drop in temperatures, but all who gathered on another mild and sunny day at Barnes Common couldn't have given a rat's arse.

The team lined up with Julian in goal in front of another new central defensive pairing of Dale and Rohan, with Nick continuing as right back after some strong performances of late. Ivan started on the left. The midfield pack was shuffled as Dave came into the centre to fill the void left by Dale, partnering his namesake Lineker who was returning after an ankle injury. On the wings were Peggy and Adrian. Up front James and Thierry. Mark Bullock, returning from injury and the production of his latest play swapped the boards for the turf as loko legend Steve Whiteley completed a strong Loko bench.

The match started like most of our games this season. Intense pressure from the opposition leading to a couple of half chances and some corners which were spurned by the 'Rosinieri'.

Loko seemed lacklustre and were too often taking the easy option of aiming long balls upfield to Roger. This allowed Barnes's slightly more varied play to take a gentle hold of the game, as they maneuvered themselves into wide areas. It was from one of these situations that their No2, having made his way to the by-line, sent a looping cross over the keeper's head and into the far corner.

Half-Time Loko 0 v Barnes FC 1

At half time, the manager tried to give the team the hair-dryer treatment in honour of Fergies anniversary, demanding more endeavour and movement off the ball. And for fifteen minutes after the break Loko had their only genuine period of domination culminating in a goal for Roger (pictured below). Taking advantage of a defensive slip, he coolly controlled the ball and lobbed the keeper from the edge of the box. Another well taken goal for the league's top scorer and one of the few bright moments in the match for the railwaymen.

And from then on the players seemed to go back onto automatic. Barnes regained the initiative and the lead with the game's one moment of true class, a 30 yard volley rocketing into the corner of the net.

A late desperate surge from the team saw Rohan push up front, but alas the 'all in' gamble failed to pay off and a goal on the break saw a third and conclusive goal for Barnes.

A poor team performance with a few bright spots - Peggy again showing the hunger and skill on the left and Roger as usual classy up front. Dale did well at the back after so long in midfield, but overall not good enough and a team meeting on Sunday to set things straight after consecutive defeats is more than necessary.

Final Score Loko 1 v Barnes FC 3

Manager Julian Milne's comments:

"Not a great performance that brought up some major issues that have affected us over the last couple of seasons. The lack of movement off the ball, as well as players simply not seeming to want possession. A lack of energy and a need for more vocal encouragement. Most of the foundations are there for a good season, certainly the players are good enough, we just need to add these last few layers to graduate from mid table to a position at the top challenging for the title.

Man of the match: Peggy"

Team Line Up
1. Julian
2. Nick
3. Ivan
4. Dale
5. Rohan
6. Dave W
7. Adrian
8. Dave H
9. Roger (c)
10. James
11. Stephen
12. Paul (Replaced Ivan 45th Minute) [Y]
13. Mark (Replaced Adrian 45th Minute)
14. Steve W (Replaced James 70th Minute)

Goals
Roger (1)
60th Minute - The ball broke for Roger 30 yards out and he struck the ball superbly to lob the keeper and bring Loko level.

Other Cup Results

Our Group
Ladbroke Groovers 0 v Uncle Bob's FC 7

Other Group
Real Madras FC 0 v West Ken Kings 2
South Auckland Rangers 0 v Cosmopolitan FC 2

Match Report provided by Julian Milne.

Big Match Preview: Loko v Barnes FC

Sunday 5th November 2006
Barnesalona Cup, 10.30am KO
Lokomotiv Londres FC v Barnes FC

General
It should be a similar team to last week, with possibly the addition of James (pictured below) to the fold. Steve Martin will once again be missing.


Last Season Head-to-Head
Loko Wins 2
Barnes FC Wins 1
Draws 1

League
06.11.05 Barnes FC 1 v 7 Loko (Andreas 3, Steve W, Dale, Dave, Johan) [Match Report]
15.01.06 Loko 3 v 3 Barnes FC (Dale 2, Dave) [Match Report]

Cup
13.11.05 Loko 4 v 3 Barnes FC (Andreas 4) [Match Report]
27.11.05 Barnes FC 4 v 1 Loko (Mark) [Match Report]

Stat Attack

- Barnes currently top the cup group with four points after two games, Loko sit in second with a maximum three points from one game.

- Barnes have scored a massive 14 goals in their two games due to a resounding 12-0 victory over Ladbroke Groovers. These goals have been scored by no fewer than seven players, so they are capable of scoring from all areas of the pitch.

- Loko have scored five goals in their only game so far, with strikes shared between four goalscorers. Roger got a brace with single strikes for Stefan, James and Stephen.

- This always feels like a local derby between these two sides and a resounding victory apiece last year aside, the other two games were extremely hard fought physical battles.

- Barnes season record in both competitions stands at W3 D1 L4. Loko's season record is W3 D1 L3.

Player Profile: Steve Whitely

Name: Steve Whitely

Age: 43

Position: Att Mid RCL / Att RCL

Q. What scared you most as a child?
A. Walking on railway bridges when a train was passing.

Q. Who did you support as a child and who were you favourite players?
A. Leeds and I must still be a child to be supporting them. Favourite players were Duncan MacKensie and TonyYeobah.

Q. What's the funniest thing that has happened to you during a match?
A. Got chased by 2 dogs (4 legged ) playing on Clapham Common.

Q. What's the worst thing anyone has ever done or said to you?
A. Paul Kelly phoned me.

Q. What makes you laugh and why?
A. The Twins Nigel Rose and Paul Kelly playing football, watch 'em and see.

Q. What talent do you wish you had?
A. ANY!

Q. What is your best physical feature?
A. My belly because I can hide lots of beer and food in it.

Q. What do you most dislike about your physical apperance?
A. My belly because there's not enough room for as much beer and food i'd like to hide!!!

Q. How do you think other people see you?
A. Men through green eyes, lady, women and girls like to see me lying next to them in bed.

Q. And how do you see yourself?
A. I make an appointment like everybody else has to.

Q. What do you consider your biggest attribute as a player?
A. Apart from my belly which strikers can't get round, my mouth winding up players from both sides.

Q. What is your favourite way of relaxing?
A. Exercising my eyes in the sauna and steam room at my local gym.

Q. Who do you knock around with from Loko and why?
A. Steve 'THE SAINT' Martin, because I work with the disabled I see it as overtime. Used to hang with Paul Kelly but he got himself a lady woman and some girls and now no one sees him anymore, 3 women's enough to keep any man busy.

November Fixtures 2006

Sunday 5th November 2006
Barnesalona Cup
Barnes Common
Lokomotiv Londres FC v Barnes FC

Result: Lost 3-1

Sunday 12th November 2006
Barnesalona League
Pitch 3
Lokomotiv Londres FC v Ladbroke Groovers

Result: Won 2-0

Sunday 19th November 2006
Barnesalona Cup
Pitch 3
Lokomotiv Londres FC v Uncle Bob's FC

Result: Drew 1-1

Sunday 26th November 2006
Barnesalona League
Pitch 1
Lokomotiv Londres FC v Hendrix FC

Result: Postponed P-P