Barnesalona Cup
West Ken Kings 6 v Lokomotiv Londres FC 1
In case you’d forgotten, Loko actually played in a game of football on Sunday, in which they received a solid drubbing. Let’s not kid ourselves, though: this was all about the glorious return of Loko legend Steve ‘goal’ Whitely, who must certainly be our all time top scorer although there are no records to prove it. In the event Steve generously volunteered to go in goal, sparing Ismail and Mark, and immediately stamped his authority on the team with a stern speech before kick off:
“I don’t want no messing about; when I tell you where you should be, you go there. Nobody shouts ‘keeper!’ except me. Full backs, when I’ve got the ball you should be there immediately giving me the option. If I throw the ball out of play cos you’re not there, then that’s your fault.”
This proved to be something of a theme. Steve was to teach the Loko defence and midfield a lesson they wouldn’t forget in a hurry. For the record, the rest of the team was made up as follows: Rohan, Paul, Pete and Ivan in defence, Mark, Doug, Dale and Ismail in midfield and Roger and James up front.
The game was soon over as a contest. WKK cut through the Loko midfield like a knife through... well, air. Kings scored two goals after about ten minutes, the first driven into the top corner from the edge of the area, the second placed low past Steve as the Loko defence stood still as statues. Fair enough - we deserved it.
However Steve decided to give the railwaytimetablemen a wake-up call. With about fifteen minutes to half time, a WKK player won the ball in midfield and struck a tame shot straight at the big man. Steve, furious at the cheap surrender of possession, jumped nimbly to one side and tickled the ball under the chin as it purred comfortably over the line – not even reaching the back of the net. ‘That’ll learn ya!’ he cried, ‘got to be cruel to be kind!’.
It seemed though that his words were not fully heeded. Not five minutes later, a long ball bounced through into the Loko box; Paul believed he had done enough when he shepherded it into the falling Steve Whitely’s hands. Once again though Steve was upset, this time that a bouncing ball had come straight through. ‘Got to get your head on that Paul!’ he shouted, as he rolled the ball gently to the WKK forward. Paul, believing his job to be done, was jogging away, but on hearing the shout he turned just in time to see the King tapping the ball into the empty net. As the captain fell to his knees with his face screwed up in anguish I was reminded of the film ‘Platoon’ by Oliver Stone.
As half time approached Loko still seemed to be at a low ebb. Steve whistled over to Jules and signaled that he needed to get out on the pitch to bang some heads together in his customary manner. Mark sportingly agreed to take on the unenviable task of filling the void left by Steve between the sticks, and James dropped to right wing to allow Steve some room in attack. The remainder of the half passed without incident.
Half-Time West Ken Kings 4 v Loko 0
At half time the central midfield pairing of Doug and Dale was replaced by Jules and Adrian. Paul Kelly replaced the furious Steve Whitely, to whom all the players apologised before retaking the field. Kelly went to right mid shunting James back up into attack.
Loko played much better in the second half. Jules did well in midfield and Roger and Pete put in great performances. WKK had clearly taken their foot off the gas, allowing Loko much more time on the ball. Of course the boys still managed to lose the half 2-1; Mark couldn’t quite hold a cross and the ball bounced off a King’s player’s arse and in for 5-0; the sixth was about five metres offside.
Loko’s consolation was the best goal of the game, as Roger (pictured top) dribbled three players down the left before hoisting the ball high into the net in the manner reminiscent of Alan Giant.
So it ended 6-1. Lucky it was in the cup. Next week…. West Ken Kings! Beware the wrath of Steve!
Final Score West Ken Kings 6 v Loko 1
Manager Julian Milne's comments:
"The first half was probably as poor a display as I have witnessed since taking over in the summer. Although a couple of weak goals from individual errors lent the scoreline an even more punitive edge, nothing can alter the fact that the overall performance was unacceptable. Issues of fitness, attitude and commitment need to be addressed and changes will be made before the upcoming rematch with WKK on Sunday.
The second half was an improvement and showed that we can match the table toppers if we apply ourselves in certain areas. Sunday's game is one that I feel confident we can take something from."
Team Line Up
1. Steve W
2. Rohan
3. Ivan
4. Paul D (c)
5. Pete
6. Doug
7. Mark
8. Dale
9. James
10. Roger
11. Ismail
12. Adrian (Replaced Doug 45 Minute)
13. Julian (Replaced Dale 45 Minute)
14. Paul K (Replaced Steve W 45 Minute)
Goals:
Roger (1)
80th Minute - Roger ran down the left wing, turning three men inside out before rifling a left foot drive into the keepers top right corner of the net.
Match Report provided by Rohan Tesh.
