One Or The Other! - Nick Michaelides

Sport Questions!!!

FA Cup final or England debut?
FA Cup final - better atmosphere, more motivated players, more interesting result. Playing for England in their current form doesn't seem too hard, I think I might get called up soon.

Snooker or darts?
Darts - it's faster, more fun, and it's easier to fluke stuff.

Rugby union or rugby league?
Rugger union - played it as school so it makes more sense (though it took me a while to stop shouting "handball!") than rugger league. No idea what happens there.

Cricket or tennis?
Tennis, which is high-energy, explosive, fast, and can involve girls in small skirts (as opposed to cricket which is slow, boring and involves men rubbing cork balls on their own balls).

Real Madrid or Barcelona?
If we're talking football, don't really care much for either. If we're talking travel, Barca's ok and never been to Madrid so it would be Barca by default.

Rangers or Celtic?
Again, don't care much for either Kevin Keegan or Kenny Dalglish? Kevin Keegan for three reasons: the first is that TV clip from the 70s where he falls off the racing bike, the second is comedy hair way back when, and the third is that I don't understand Kenny Dalglish and have to turn on the subtitles when he's on.

Tiger Woods or Roger Federer?
Roger Federer, possibly because I know tennis better than I know golf and so can appreciate his skill better.

Pele or Maradona?
Pele - although I think Maradona showed possibly greater skill as a player, he was/is clearly troubled, and Pele is more admirable both on and off the pitch.

Television Questions!!!

Coronation Street or Eastenders?
Eastenders - not that I watch it, but don't see the appeal of Corrie at all.

Tom or Jerry?
Tom - though driven merely by natural instincts and therefore less intelligent than Jerry, Jerry is a really annoying smug little shit.

Phoenix Nights or The Office?
Never seen Phoenix so it's The Office by default.

Jonathan Ross or Charlotte Church?
Jonathan Ross, especially for the BBC3 series Japanorama. But Charlotte Church deserves a mention for her ample talents.

Gary Lineker or Adrian Chiles?
Gary Lineker - he walks the walk and he talks the talk. Adrian Chiles reminds me of a pug.

Trinny or Susannah?
Trinny without a doubt. Susannah bears more than a passing resemblance to Oscar from Sesame Street.

Star Wars or Star Trek?
Star Wars - it may be geeky but at least the films only last so long. Star Trek goes on and on and on and it's one spin-off after another, encouraging sad people all over the world to learn kling-on... make no mistake, Star Trek sucks the fat one.

Royal Family or Royle Family?
Never watched the Royles, so Royal by default. Plus there is a certain entertainment value with the Royals.

Big Brother or X-Factor?
X-Factor for the audition stages and all the weird people who think they have the X factor but in fact have the S.H.I.T. factor.

Food & Drink Questions!!!

Salt and vinegar or ready salted?
Salt & Vinegar

Curry or kebab?
I'm half-greek so it's gotta be kebab, and a proper one at that, not an elephant leg doobrey.

Cheddar or stilton?
Can't think what Stilton tastes like (don't say Stilton) so let's play it safe and say Cheddar.

Sunday roast or chicken pasta?
Sunday Roast every so often, otherwise quite happy with the healthy option of chicken pasta.

Poached or scrambled eggs?
Scrambled.

Mars or snickers?
Snickers - the peanuts have it.

Bitter or lager?
Lager.

Red wine or white wine?
White wine as it's lighter than red, but depends on the food of course.

Tea or coffee?
Neither but most likely tea than coffee.

Music Questions!!!

Chris Moyles or Terry Wogan?
Terry Wogan is an institution. Chris Moyles is a twat.

Rock n Roll or R n B?
Rock.

Girls Aloud or Sugababes?
Sugababes for the musical talent, Girls Aloud for the visual stimulation (but you can keep the miserable ginger one).

Oasis or Blur?
Blur just for Song 2 (WOOO-HOOO!) but they both have their strengths: Blur for more intelligent music, Oasis for easily accessible piss-head songs.

Arctic Monkeys or Kaiser Chiefs?
Kaisers.

Beatles or Rolling Stones?
I would have said Beatles but in recent years, I've come to appreciate the Stones a lot. If I had to pick... Beatles.

Kylie Minogue or sister Danni?
YEAH!... oh, sorry, thought it said Kylie Minogue AND sister Danni. Kylie.

Three Lions or World in Motion?
World in Motion - John Barnes rapping, and I associate the song with the summer of 1990 which was wicked.

Dr Dre or Eminem?
Eminem's ok, I especially like peanut but not crazy about chocolate. In the States, they have peanut butter Eminem and it's really nice.

Lifestyle Questions!!!

Baby Bentley or Robin Reliant?
I have problem with the term "Baby Bentley". It sounds crap. Imagine if you pull a girl in a nightclub, take her home in the Bentley and christen the back seat en route, and then you recount to your mates in your pub how you"got your rocks off in the back of a baby". It's not right. So I guess that means Reliant.

Tattoos or piercing?
It's easier to have a shit tattoo than a shit piercing. Plus you could potentially heal from a piercing. And yet I'm not saying piercing, I'm saying tattoo - just make it tasteful.

Night in with the missus or night out with the lads?
Night out with the lads but turn up late because of the missus.

Dog or cat?
Never had either one, but either could be ok with the right seasoning. Oh wait, wrong section, this is lifestyle. I'll say dog for the interaction.

City or countryside?
Both have their strengths and weaknesses but I'm starting to lean more towards countryside for lifestyle and fresh air etc.

Blackpool or Bondi?
Come on, no contest - Bondi!

Shoes or trainers?
Trainers.

Tracksuit or sharp suit?
Sharp suits, but not with trainers.

Pro Evo or Fifa?
Pro Evo, though to be honest, not played any of the recent Fifa's.

Pedalo or rowing boat?
Rowing - it may be harder work but you get a sense of going somewhere /doing something.