Match Report: Loko v Real Madras FC

Sunday 29th October 2006
Barnesalona League

Lokomotiv Londres FC 0 v Real Madras FC 1

Marauding Madras Make Loko Pay

It was the usual Sunday morning fixture at Barnes Common for Loko, who arrived on time with a squad of fourteen, intent on inflicting revenge on a Madras side that had luckily come through 2-1 in the previous meeting a couple of weeks before.

Loko started with Julian in goal, a back four of Nick, Ivan, Pete and Rohan. The midfield consisted of Adrian on the right, Stephen on the left and Dale and Dave H in central midfield. Up front was Roger and Stefan, with Ismail, Paul and Mark on the bench. This was definitely a squad that could and should get a result and move Loko up the table and start the challenge for the title.

It was a mixed start for Loko with some maurauding runs by Roger and Stefan into the channels but no real end product. Roger had a shot from distance, as did Dave H but unfortunately both only managed to find the tops of the trees behind the goal.

Dale was winning challenges in midfield against his counterpart and distributing the ball out wide to Adrian and Stephen on the wings. Madras had a couple of long range efforts and their main striker ran through on the angle only for a fine challenge by Rohan clearing the danger.

A dangerous free-kick on the corner of the penalty box had the Loko defence in disarray with poor marking and no-one holding their positions, the lack of a wall was also rather surprising with the free-kick being so close. Tempers flared due to a lack of communication and responsibility, just as the half-time whistle blew.

Half-Time Loko 0 v Real Madras FC 0

A tactical switch at half-time changed the shape of the game, Dale came of to be replaced by Ismail in midfield, Adrian was replaced by Mark, who went up front and the right flank was occupied by Stefan who dropped down from attack. It meant a midfield four with only Stephen on the left playing in their usual position.

It took Madras only five minutes of the second half to capitalise on the slow start the makeshift Loko formation had made. The winger cut inside Nick and tried shooting, the ball was deflected into the path of the striker at the back post who had an easy tap in despite the valient attempts of Julian in goal to scramble across his line.

Loko never really threatened in the second half with a couple of goalmouth scrambles and long range efforts coming to nothing. The control they had in the first half appeared to disappear and with confidence looking fragile Loko did well not to concede a second at the other end.

The game petered out and it was unfortunate that the Railwaymen have now had the double done over them by a team we should be beating. Lessons will have to be learned from this defeat and the squad will have to drastically improve from this performance if Loko want to have any chance of moving up the table and ultimately winning this League. Barnes in the Cup next weekend should be a good physical battle between two old rivals and should see the progress we have made over the summer. It is extremely important that we get a result out of this game.

Final Score Loko 0 v Real Madras FC 1

Team Line Up
1. Julian
2. Nick
3. Ivan [Y]
4. Pete
5. Rohan
6. Dave H
7. Adrian
8. Dale
9. Stefan
10. Roger (c)
11. Stephen
12. Ismail (Replaced Dale 45th Minute)
13. Paul (Replaced Ivan 45th Minute)
14. Mark (Replaced Adrian 45th Minute)

Other League Results

Barnes FC 1 v Cosmopolitan FC 2
Celtic 3 v West Ken Kings 2
Ladbroke Groovers 3 v South Auckland Rangers 3
Uncle Bob's FC 10 v Hendrix FC 2

Extra Pictures

Match Report provided by Dale Mellor.

Big Match Preview: Loko v Real Madras FC

29th October 2006
Barnesalona League, 10.30am KO
Lokomotiv Londres FC v Real Madras FC

General
It appears to be the same squad as last week, with a possible return for Steve Whitely (pictured below).


This Season Head-to-Head
Loko Wins 0
Madras Wins 1
Draws 0

League
08.10.06 Real Madras FC 2 v 1 Loko (Stefan) [Match Report]

Last Season Head-to-Head
Loko Wins 1
Madras Wins 0
Draws 1

League
19.02.06 Real Madras FC 2 v 4 Loko (James 2, Julian, Dave H) [Match Report]
05.03.06 Loko 3 v 3 Real Madras FC (Adrian, Roger, Stefan) [Match Report]

Stat Attack

- Loko are currently on the same points as Madras, and are above them with a better goal difference. Loko sit in fourth with Madras a position behind in fifth.

- Loko are currently the joint second highest scorers in the division alongside Uncle Bob's FC with 14 goals and solely behind Celtic with 17. Madras have scored 10. The stats say we average a goal in the League every 32 Minutes, that is 2.8 goals per game.

- Loko have the fourth best defence in the league conceding only seven goals in five league matches. Madras have conceded 11 goals. The stats also say we concede a goal in the League every 64 Minutes, that is 1.4 goals per game.

- This will be our last meeting with Madras this season unless we come across them in the semi-finals of either the Barnesalona Cup (1st/2nd in Group) or Barnesalona Plate (3rd/4th in Group).

- Roger is the League's top scorer with 8 goals, Loko have a total of six players in the League's top 10 goalscorers, however, four of these six have only scored once. Stefan, being the other with two goals.

- After our meeting with Madras earlier this month, it is up to the players to set the record straight and even up this seasons tally of one win for Madras.

Player Profile: Paul Kelly

Name: Paul Kelly
Age: 31
Position: Def RL / Mid RCL


Q. What scared you most as a child?
A. Chelsea winning the League.

Q. Who did you support as a child and who were you favourite players?
A. I liked Liverpool as a youngster and when I was 10 my mate took me to QPR, QPR scored after 16 seconds and that was it, it was Rangers for me. My favourite player was Alan McDonald, not the most skillful but 100% heart and a do or die attitude.

Q. What's the funniest thing that has happened to you during a match?
A. It was when I was on the end of a bad tackle and needed stitches, I phoned my Mrs who works at the hospital in Hammersmith to say I was on my way in an ambulance and she told me all her mates were waiting for me in A&E Department... ...the ambulance took me to a different hospital to have the 10 stitches!

Q. What's the worst thing anyone has ever done or said to you?
A. I was looking for work and Steve Whitely told me he knew a woman who lived in a big house and needed some painting done, he gave me the number and told me to ask for Liz, it was only Buckingham Palace.

Q. What makes you laugh and why?
A. All these Chelsea fans coming out of the woodwork and saying they were always fans, they didn't have much bigger gates than Rangers a few years ago.

Q. What talent do you wish you had?
A. To make Stamford Bridge disappear.

Q. What is your best physical feature?
A. My smile, you will see it when I score, but until then...

Q. What do you most dislike about your physical apperance?
A. Why what's wrong with me?

Q. How do you think other people see you?
A. Someone who doesn't take things seriously.

Q. And how do you see yourself?
A. A better person than I used to be...!

Q. What do you consider your biggest attribute as a player?
A. A great well timed sliding tackle, taking the ball and then the man.

Q. What is your favourite way of relaxing?
A. I love my Saturdays, I get the flat to myself so it's Sky Sports News for the goals and the radio if QPR are on live, with one or two Buds.

Q. Who do you knock around with from Loko and why?
A. Whoever has a beer after the game on Sundays, mostly Dale, who I'm trying to teach proper English and keep telling him to stop missing out words in his sentences. I also play five-a-side with Steve Whitely on Tuesdays.

Match Report: Loko v South Auckland Rangers

Sunday 22nd October 2006
Barnesalona League

Lokomotiv Londres FC 3 v South Auckland Rangers 1

"I’d buy that for Addala":
BA’s Bullet sparks Battling Turnaround

Just another Sunday afternoon down on Barnes Common - or was it? Loko set down a marker as their good early season form was turned into a fine 3-1 win over South Auckland Rangers, after trailing 1-0 at the break.

A brimming squad turned out at Barnes Common, giving manager Jules some selection problems. He opted, as far as was possible, for an unchanged line-up, after the team had impressed against a vastly improved Groovers eleven the previous week. Ismail replaced the sidelined Rohan at centre-half, and Paul Kelly made way for new club ambassador Ivan.

After heavy rain the pitch was a bit of a mess, with divots and bobbles hampering the passing of both teams, and preventing Loko from getting their passing going. Auckland took an early lead, as hesitancy in the Loko defence saw the Kiwi forward pounce to steer home across the goal past Jules.

Interestingly heads didn’t go down - which was a break with tradition – and Loko battled back into the match. Roger was doing a fantastic job of holding up the ball, but Loko’s midfield were regularly too slow and too far from him to benefit. However they did manage to work a number of decent half-chances; sadly none of them dropped kindly and the match began to have the same frustrating feel as the Madras game.

Auckland, for all their trickery on the wings, rarely looked like doubling their lead - although they did come within a whisker of doing so on one occasion, as the big man struck a fine shot from thirty yards that glanced off the crossbar. The Loko boys went into the break feeling that a similar stroke of luck at the other end might provide the break they deserved.

Half-Time Loko 0 v South Auckland Rangers 1

Jules rang the changes at the interval, bringing on Paul for Ivan and Stefan for James. The second half took up where it had left off, with a fairly even contest and very few chances.

The match had had a hard edge to it throughout, with flash points and handbags in both halves, but eventually (and this reporter almost cannot believe it!) it emerged that the Loko players had the greater reserves of energy, as Dave Lineker and Peggy took the midfield battle by the scruff off the neck. Simultaneously Roger and Stefan began to find themselves with more space to exploit, and they wore down the Kiwi back line as they stretched it one way and then the other.

The breakthrough arrived on the hour mark. Roger beat the Kiwi left back down the channel, turned inside and pulled the ball back to Adrian (pictured top), who was arriving late in the box. It was a simple, well-struck finish into the bottom corner, but it was a real weight off the Railwaymaintenanceworkers’ shoulders.

Five minutes later Loko took the lead. As the ball was swung into the box the Auckland keeper could only knock it to Mark (pictured left), who had replaced Lineker. The injury-plagued striker showed that he hasn’t lost his poacher’s instinct as he chested the ball back over the keeper and into the net.

Loko were left with almost half an hour to defend a one goal lead – exactly the same situation, against the same opponents, as the first game of the season. Auckland bundled forward, but despite several corners and free kicks they failed to come any closer than some snatched efforts from outside the box. Hearts were in mouths at one point when the ball bounced up in the box and struck Ismail’s hand, but the ref correctly adjudged it as unintentional and waved play on.

Instead of a late equaliser, this time the fixture saw Loko score a fantastic goal on the counter to kill the game off. After another Kiwi attack had broken down, Roger received the ball just outside his own box. He dribbled across the halfway line and played it wide to Stefan, who had dropped to right wing. The happy hammer held it up for a second to allow Roger to make his run, before slipping the return into the box to put Roger (pictured below) clean through on goal. The big man hungrily accepted the chance put on a plate for him, and coolly slotted the ball into his favourite bottom corner, sending the crowd wild.

The Auckland players seemed crushed after this, and the match ended shortly afterwards. The Loko players were rightly proud of this victory and went out to the social at Barnes Rugby Club in high spirits; nearly everyone came along and it was good to see the lads together after a game. The hope for Julian is that the team can take their form into the re-match against Madras and take another step up the table. Fourth place is excellent but it is common knowledge that all the boys are unhappy with the two league defeats they have suffered to date, and that is a good attitude to have for the remainder of the season.

Final Score Loko 3 v South Auckland Rangers 1

Team Line Up
1. Julian
2. Nick
3. Ivan
4. Ismail
5. Pete
6. Dave W
7. Adrian
8. Dale
9. James
10. Roger (c)
11. Stephen
12. Paul (Replaced Ivan 45th Minute)
13. Stefan (Replaced James 45th Minute)
14. Mark (Replaced Dave W 60th Minute)

Goals
Adrian (1)
55th Minute - Roger was played in down the right channel by Dale, he got to the byline and pulled it back for the onrushing Adrian to sidefoot the ball home.
Mark (1)
75th Minute - A long ball in by Adrian was only parried by the keeper and the ball rebounded off Marks chest into the back of the net.
Roger (1)
85th Minute - A lovely one two on the edge of the area between Roger and Stefan enabled Roger to run through and guide the ball past the keeper into the bottom corner of the net.

Other League Results
Barnes FC 2 v Celtic 3
Hendrix FC 2 v Real Madras FC 2
Uncle Bob's FC 2 v Ladbroke Groovers 0 (Forfeited Game)
West Ken Kings 0 v Cosmopolitan FC 0

Match Report provided by Rohan Tesh.

Big Match Preview: Loko v South Auckland Rangers

22nd October 2006
Barnesalona League, 10.30am KO
Lokomotiv Londres FC v South Auckland Rangers

General
This Sunday morning sees our final game of the season against Auckland, which will be followed by the Club social in Barnes Rugby Club.


This weekend should see the return of Mark Bullock and Steve Whitely to the squad, and there are fitness doubts over Steve Martin (pictured above) who pulled a muscle in last weeks warm up. It appears to be a full squad once again.

This Season Head-to-Head
Loko Wins 0
Auckland Wins 0
Draws 1

League
10.09.06 Auckland 1 v 1 Loko (Roger) [Match Report]

Last Season Head-to-Head
Loko Wins 2
Auckland Wins 1
Draws 1

League
18.09.05 Auckland 1 v 3 Loko (Andreas 2, Christophe) [Match Report]
30.10.05 Loko 1 v 3 Auckland (Paolo) [Match Report]

Cup
23.10.05 Auckland 2 v 2 Loko (Andreas 2) [Match Report]
08.01.06 Loko 2 v 0 Auckland (Win by default) [Match Report]

Stat Attack

- Auckland have had a steady start to the League season winning once against Nellies Chargers, drawing twice, once with us and a creditable 1-1 with WKK. Their only loss came against Hendrix FC.

- Aucklands last win in the League was on the 17th September over a month ago. Loko's last win came on the same weekend with a 8-1 mauling of Ladbroke Groovers.

- Rangers are currently 2 places and 1 point ahead of Loko in 5th place.

- A single strike from Roger on Sunday will take his goals tally into double figures.

- Auckland lost their game last weekend 4-3 to WKK, in contrast Loko confidence should be high as they hammered Ladbroke Groovers 5-0.

- The Ger's have scored 7 goals in the League this year compared with 11 for Loko. They have also conceded 7 goals, and this is bettered by Loko who have only conceded 6.

Player Profile: Stephen Pegg

Name: Stephen Pegg
Age: 34
Position: Mid CL


Q. What scared you most as a child?
A. Snakes.

Q. Who did you support as a child and who were you favourite players?
A. Supported the Blues (Birmingham City) and favorite player was Frank Worthington.

Q.What's the funniest thing that has happened to you during a match?
A. Can't remember one about playing but seeing a team mate gulp down some liniment oil thinking it was orange squash was a good one.

Q. What's the worst thing anyone has ever done or said to you?
A. Too many to remember.

Q. What makes you laugh and why?
A. Anything daft and stupid.

Q. What talent do you wish you had?
A. Wish I was a boxer.

Q. What is your best physical feature?
A. Havin red hair - sometimes get called Scholsey.

Q. What do you most dislike about your physical apperance?
A. Ginger hair!

Q. How do you think other people see you?
A. God knows!

Q. And how do you see yourself?
A. Always changes.

Q. What do you consider your biggest attribute as a player?
A. Can get past a player - when fit.

Q. What is your favourite way of relaxing?
A. I'm one of those people who never relaxes.

Q. Who do you knock around with from Loko and why?
A. Just joined so all pretty new, but work with James Kavanagh.

Match Report: Loko v Ladbroke Groovers

Sunday 15th October 2006
Barnesalona Cup

Lokomotiv Londres FC 5 v Ladbroke Groovers 0

Groovers no match for the Railwaymen!

This game was originally scheduled for a 10.30am KO, but a request from the Groovers to have this game played in the afternoon because of their players currently partaking in the Islamic yearly ritual of Ramadan, was kindly agreed to by Loko and this meant a nice lie-in and a late start.

A big squad assembled for todays game with 16 players available for selection, this posed a problem as the maximum substitutions allowed was 3 meaning a total of 14 players could be in the squad. Life was made easier as Steve Martin pulled a muscle in the warm up and Ismail agreed to play for the other side who only had 10 players.

Loko lined up with Julian in goal, a back four consisting of Pete and Rohan at centre back, Ivan left back and Nick right back. Dave H started on the right flank in midfield with Stephen on the left, Dale and Dave W started for the fifth game in a row in a central midfield partnership that is beginning to find a good understanding. The front two was the usual partnership of James and captain for the afternoon, Roger.

It was an unusually slow start by Loko with the ball being given away too easily in all areas of the park and mistimed tackles flying in left, right and centre. Groovers started brightly and made several forays into the steamers penalty area, without ever really threatening a goal, one good move ten minutes into the match forced Julian to make an excellent save and tip the ball over the bar. This was not the same Groovers that had lost to us 8-1 on the second weekend of the season, and it was evident that a few personal changes had brought a more competitive edge to their game.

A small disappointment to the day was the referee's performance, he had a poor game throughout, continually blowing his whistle and interrupting play, the game was not a dirty contest but the number of so-called fouls he blew for must have made the game seem otherwise. Half-Way through the first half Dale was booked for implying that there was two teams playing this afternoon, and it was a harsh booking to say the least, but if it made the referee feel important then I'm sure Dale doesn't mind.

Lokomotiv started to get into their stride and some determined midfield work by Dave W and Stephen down the left kept enabling James to get the ball in the hole behind Roger and set up a number of useful moves. Roger was twice played through and attempted to lob the keeper from 18 yards but both times was unable to get any purchase behind his effort and the keeper managed to scramble back and collect the ball.

It was some neat play in midfield by Dale that saw the ball head out to right back for Nick to play the ball down the line, Dave H took aim and swung a lovely ball in front of the keeper and behind the back four, and with everyone unsure of how to deal with it, Stephen (pictured above) ran in at the back post and a diving header saw the ball hit the back of the net. It was harsh on Groovers who had played well up until that point and didn't really deserve to go behind.

The goal seemed to spur Loko on and a 15 minute spell of heavy pressure followed, the ball was being played around really well but the end product didn't seem quite there. The half ended with a near miss for Ladbroke, they broke away from a Loko corner and some neat interchanging of passes sent the forward away down the left, he cut the ball back for the onrushing midfielder who hit a first time effort bound for Julian's top right hand corner. Julian showed why he was "Loko's number one, Loko's number one" when he diverted the ball over for a corner. Loko went in at the break with their lead intact.

Half-Time Score Loko 1 v Ladbroke Groovers 0

Julian made some half-time changes and insisted that his decision was not based on anyones performance, he was going to take some people off that usually didn't get subbed so that the other players could stake a claim for a regular start. Dave H was replaced by Adrian, ever present Ivan came off for Paul Kelly who went to right back with Nick switching to left back. The last substitution saw Stefan take the left wing slot in place of Stephen.

The team talk involved starting the second half the way we finished the first half, which was to close them down quickly, give them no time on the ball and harry them into mistakes. James was at them from the off and chased the ball down on three opponants and this forced them to kick the ball into touch on the half way line, it was a great start. This continued for the remainder of the second half and it was encouraging to see the fitness levels beginning to improve and more and more players still running in the last fifteen minutes.

The game seemed to open up early in the second half and Stefan and Adrian were providing a lot of width and getting much more space on the wings than in the first half. Dale and Dave W were getting much tighter to their midfield counterparts and giving them no time on the ball and this enabled Loko to win much more ball in the middle of the park.

A through ball by Dale 10 minutes into the second half saw Roger (pictured above) outmuscle his marker and run 30 yards into the penalty area and drill a right foot shot past the keeper into the bottom corner. It was only a few minutes later that the ball was worked out to Adrian on the right wing and a lovely ball across the face of goal was headed into the bottom corner for Rogers second goal of the game. That was pretty much the game over as a contest as the Groovers were struggling to make any headway into Loko's half as some excellent sliding tackles by Pete, Rohan and Paul Kelly stopped any danger before it appeared.

The fourth goal didn't take long in coming, again the ball was played across the midfield four out to Adrian on the right and another peach of a cross was dutifully despatched by Jame's (pictured right) head into the top corner, even though the keeper got a hand to it, the header was too powerful to be kept out.

Loko were now playing some good football, Stefan was working tirelessly down the left wing and was seeing a lot of the ball, playing it either down the line for Roger or inside to Dale and Dave W, and the keeper was being kept on his toes from through balls from the midfield.

The fifth goal was the best of the lot, the ball was played from the centre half out to the Paul K at right back who played it up to Adrian. Adrian knocked it inside to Dale who kept it rolling out to Dave W, he then played Stefan (pictured below) in behind the full back and Stefan curled the ball into the bottom corner. It was a superb goal and Loko's passing style was beginning to pay dividends.

Pete also managed too incur the referee's wrath with another harsh booking, he won the ball with a tackle on the ground, but his follow through also took a little of the man. It was a foul but a booking was unneccesary.

Loko kept their first clean sheet of the season and the defence is looking much stronger than in recent years, with only six goals conceded in five Barnesalona matches. Another good goalscoring performance sees us with a +5 goal average in the cup and +5 in the League. We now need to push on with some victories in the League starting against Auckland next weekend.

Final Score Loko 5 v Ladbroke Groovers 0

Team Line Up
1. Julian
2. Nick
3. Ivan
4. Pete [Y]
5. Rohan
6. Dave W
7. Dave H
8. Dale [Y]
9. Roger (c)
10. James
11. Stephen
12. Paul K (Replaced Ivan 45th Minute)
13. Adrian (Replaced Dave H 45th Minute)
14. Stefan (Replaced Stephen 45th Minute)
Fan - Steve M
Opposition - Ismail

Goals
Stephen (1)
25th Minute - A cross by Dave on the right went across goal and a diving header at the back post saw the ball sneak in the bottom corner.
Roger (2)
55th Minute - Roger held off the defender ran 30 yards and drilled it into the bottom corner.
60th Minute - A ball from Adrian on the right was headed into the bottom corner from six yards.
James (1)
65th Minute - A ball in from Adrian again was headed into the top corner.
Stefan (1)
85th Minute - A six man move saw Stefan in behind the full back to curl a beauty in the bottom corner.

Other Cup Results

Our Group
Barnes FC 2 v Celtic 2

Other Group
Real Madras FC 3 v Auckland 3
West Ken Kings 1 v Hendrix FC 0

Match Report provided by Dale Mellor. Manager Comments to follow.

Big Match Preview: Loko v Ladbroke Groovers

15th October 2006
Barnesalona Cup, 2.00pm KO
Lokomotiv Londres FC v Ladbroke Groovers

General
Manager Julian (pictured below) returns to take charge of Sunday's game. It has been an unlucky two game stint in charge of the team for Rohan, where the results could have been much different than two 2-1 defeats.

Mark Bullock is missing this weekend, although it is hoped that there will be returns for Dave Hearn, Pete Masters, Stephen Pegg and Steve Martin. Other than that the team appears to be the same as last week.

This Season Head-to Head
Loko Wins 1
Ladbroke Groovers Wins 0
Draws 0

League
17.09.06 Ladbroke Groovers 1 v 8 Loko (Roger 5, Dale, Dave H, Stefan) [Match Report]

Last Season Head-to-Head
Loko Wins 2
Ladbroke Groovers Wins 0
Draws 0

League
20.11.05 Loko 5 v 0 Ladbroke Groovers (Andreas 3, Dale, Pete) [Match Report]
09.04.06 Ladbroke Groovers 2 v 3 Loko (Roger, James, Ismail) [Match Report]

Stat Attack

- Ladbroke have not had a great start to their League campaign, winning against Nellies Chargers in a 9-a-side game on the opening weekend but losing all three games since. [League Table]

- Ladbroke also lost their only cup game to date this season against Barnes 12-0. [Cup Table]

- This will be our first game in the cup this season and we will be looking for a confidence boosting win, as we have not won any game since our last game against the Groovers on the 17.09.06.

- Loko's defence has been relatively solid this season despite its unusual look and personnel change only conceding six goals in four Barnesalona games at 1.5 goals a game. In contrast Ladbroke have conceded 36 goals in five Barnesalona games at 7.2 goals a game.

- Loko will be looking to finish in the top two and qualify for the Cup Semi-Finals for the first time since they entered the League three years ago.

Player Profile: Dale Mellor

Name: Dale Mellor
Age: 27
Position: Def RCL / Mid RCL / Att Mid RCL


Q. What scared you most as a child?
A. Horror films, I used to shit myself competely after watching one, I've never watched Lion King since.

Q. Who did you support as a child and who were you favourite players?
A. Sheffield United FC. It had to be Brian Deane from the era I grew up in, along with the likes of Alan Kelly, Franz Carr and Gordon Cowen. Today I would say Phil Jagielka is my favourite player, one to watch for the future.

Q.What's the funniest thing that has happened to you during a match?
A. I scored from the half way line as a 12 year old, the keeper did a long kick and I headed it back full pelt. It bounced just in front of him and he completely missed it, goal of the decade in my eyes.

Q. What's the worst thing anyone has ever done or said to you?
A. A couple of people said I was slower than Mark Bullock, bastards!!!

Q. What makes you laugh and why?
A. Anyone who was born near London and supports Liverpool. "My granddad used to support them....." - In your dreams you gloryseekers.

Q. What talent do you wish you had?
A. To be able to perform tantric masterbation, apparently it's the way forward and you don't even need to touch yourself... ...all the fun without the hard work.

Q. What is your best physical feature?
A. Used to be my legs until one of them snapped twice.

Q. What do you most dislike about your physical apperance?
A. Cuddly belly - No jokes please.

Q. How do you think other people see you?
A. Passionate, opinionated and self-driven on the pitch, but hopefully a friendly guy who they can go out for a beer with off it!

Q. And how do you see yourself?
A. I think I try and motivate myself, and others on the pitch to reach a better standard for themselves; and off the pitch I am outgoing, friendly and always available for a chat and a beer.

Q. What do you consider your biggest attribute as a player?
A. I prefer a midfield role as I know I can tackle and win headers with my physical presence, but my ability on the ball and range of passing is, I would say, my strongest attribute. I do try and contribute to the goals tally when I can as well.

Q. What is your favourite way of relaxing?
A. Did I mention tantric somewhere back down the line... ...actually a good film and a bottle of red always goes down well.

Q. Who do you knock around with from Loko and why?
A. I regularly have a post game beer with Paul Kelly and Steve Martin. Mark Bullock joins when he's not injured (which is pretty much never). I used to play a bit of five-a-side footy with Dave H and always make an appearance at his legendary house parties. Hopefully will start to see a few more people once the socials get going, as we have a good set of lads who all get on well.

Match Report: Real Madras FC v Loko

Sunday 8th October 2006
Barnesalona League

Real Madras FC 2 v Lokomotiv Londres FC 1

Dominant Loko robbed at death.

It was a bright sunny morning at Barnes Common and the perfect weather for a Sunday morning game of football. Both sides arrived on time, warmed up and got ready for the serious business of winning three points. Dale, captaining the side once again, lost the toss for the third successive week and Madras chose to stay as they were, meaning Loko was playing into the sun as the game kicked off.

Loko had a decent team out and Rohan (Pictured above), as caretaker manager, due to Julian's continuing absence, chose to go with a 4-3-3 formation and attack from the off. Ismail kindly went in goal again, a back four of Rohan and Ivan in the centre, with the full back slots being filled by Paul Kelly and Adrian. A midfield three of Nick on the right, Dale in the centre and Dave W on the left, were given instructions to play tight and allow Stefan and James to drop back from attack and exploit the space on the wings. Roger continued playing the out and out striker role to excellent effect.

Loko, as the case has been for most of this season, got off to an excellent start and pressed Madras back right from the first whistle. Some excellent interchanges between the front three and the midfield was looking good and the midfield shape held well, with two of the middle men joining the attack each time with one of them sitting defensively just behind.

The first chance of the game fell to Dale inside the first five minutes, a corner was whipped in by Adrian and the ball was flicked on by Roger at the near post and fell kindly over the defender for Dale five yards out, but unfortunately it came at him a little quick and he screwed his shot wide of the post. He knows that a player with his ability should be taking chances like those. The next chance also fell to Dale, who after James and done some terrific work down the left hand side of the box, sent a lovely ball to the back post where it was met with a firm header over the bar, the better choice would have been to allow the ball to fall to Roger but the chance had gone.

Loko created a number of great chances in the first half and should have taken the lead early on and settled the nerves, however, when Madras did occassionally break in to the Loko half, they did look threatening, their number 14 played exceptionally well and a poor backpass by Paul Kelly enabled him to round the keeper, but as he had been forced wide, Rohan made an excellent sliding tackle and the ball went out for a corner.

The reprive did not last long however, five minutes before half time a long free kick from the halfway line, avoided everyone and with Ismail getting in a muddle, the ball bounced over him in to the top right hand corner, against the run of play and with only their second shot of the match.

It was a bitter blow when the majority of possession and chances had fallen our way.

Half-Time Score Real Madras FC 1 v Loko 0

The second half started as the first half finished, with Loko on the attack, and that continued for the next 45 minutes. It was a barrage of pressure at times and Madras were performing admirably in defence, chasing everything down and throwing bodies and limbs in the way of shot after shot.

Roger, James and Stefan were creating numerous chances and Roger ran through on goal on a couple of occassions and hit a couple of shots just wide of the post and one across the face of goal which most people thought was in. Stefan hit a few long range efforts and James was using all his creativity around the box to supply the ammunition to fire.

It took a wonderful thirty yard strike from Stefan (Pictured below) to finally get us on the scoresheet, he lined it up and struck it cleanly with the ball dipping just over the keeper and it hit the back of the net to everyones delight.

With 25 minutes still to go the game was on and we continued pushing for that vital winner which would have given us a welcome three points. We drove forward and Nick imparticular was impressing in a central midfield role, using his fitness to support the attack and help the defence, he was winning all his headers in midfield and appeared to finally find a position which he finds comfortable and natural. Stefan was also playing well, dropping deep and carrying the ball up the left flank in support of Dave W, who was quietly going about his work with the usual effeciency.

Unfortunately Dale managed to miscue another 49,000 shots in the second half and I think he could have played all day without scoring if we're being honest. Mark came on in place of Ismail in goal, who had stubbed his finger, and was commanding from the off.

Loko were fortunate in the 80th Minute when a Madras break fell kindly in the box for the striker to hit the back of the net, only for it to be ruled out for offside. Madras can consider themselves a little unlucky with the call as the referee was a good 40 yards behind play and did not really have the right view to call for offside in that position.

As we entered the last five minutes, Loko were again pressing for the winner, but when a corner kick was cleared by the Madras defence, Loko had made a basic mistake in leaving a one-on-one situation and the supporting Madras midfielders made the difference, as the forward did a dummy allowing an easy run by the midfielder to round Mark and make the score 2-1.

It was a cruel blow for Loko who had been the better team over the 90 minutes, creating the better chances and having a lot more of the possession. It summed up the morning, when in the 90th minute Dale ran through five players on the edge of the Madras box and backheeled the ball to James, who set himself perfectly to strike the ball with the inside of his foot, the ball curled up and away from the goalkeepers despairing dive, and with him well beaten, the ball hit the inside of the post and bounced away to safety.

It was not a deserved defeat, but the old cliche that 'goals win games', has never been more accurate than yesterday. It is hard to stomach, but credit must go to Madras who played with passion, commitment and a strong resolve to keep us at bay. I think we should have a few shooting practices before the next game........!

The match stats were probably as follows:
Possession: Madras 30% Loko 70%
Attempts: Madras 5 Loko 1,540
Attempts on Target: Madras 3 Loko 1
Corners: Madras 3 Loko 249

Ah well, you cannot win them all!

Final Score Real Madras FC 2 v Loko 1

Team Line Up
1. Ismail
2. Adrian
3. Paul K
4. Ivan
5. Rohan
6. Dave W
7. Nick
8. Dale (c)
9. Stefan
10. Roger
11. James
12. Mark (Replaced Ismail 65th Minute)
13. Hakim

Goals
Stefan (1)
70th Minute - A thirty yard strike into the top corner.

Others League Results
Barnes FC 3 v Hendrix FC 5
Celtic 8 v Ladbroke Groovers 1
South Auckland Rangers 1 v West Ken Kings 1
Uncle Bob's FC 2 v Cosmopolitan FC 1

Match Report provided by Dale Mellor and Caretaker Manager comments to follow.

Big Match Preview: Real Madras FC v Loko

8th October 2006
Barnesalona League, 10.30am KO
Real Madras FC v Lokomotiv Londres FC

General
Still no Julian this week as he is still on holiday so Rohan remains in control of team selection. It should be a similar team to last week with the addition of Mark Bullock (Pictured) who is returning for the first time since last season.

Last Season Head-to-Head
Loko Wins 1
Madras Wins 0
Draws 1

League
19.02.06 Real Madras FC 2 v 4 Loko (James 2, Julian, Dave H) [Match Report]
05.03.06 Loko 3 v 3 Real Madras FC (Adrian, Roger, Stefan) [Match Report]

Stat Attack

- Madras finished last season next to bottom in ninth place with 11 points on the board, a full 14 points behind Loko in fifth. [2005/06 League Table]

- Madras were last seasons lowest scorers with only 27 goals in 18 games, however, they only conceded 59 which considering a ninth place finish was not too bad.

- This season they were victorious in their first game with a 4-0 drubbing of Barnes, but since then have lost their last two games to Hendrix FC 2-1 and Uncle Bob's FC 6-1.

- Loko have had a mixed start to the season by getting a win, draw and loss a piece. Winning 8-1 at Ladbroke, drawing 1-1 with Auckland and losing 2-1 to West Ken Kings.

- A win for Loko and other results going our way could see us back at the top of the table by Sunday evening.

Player Profile: Stefan Butler

Name: Stefan Butler
Age: 23
Position: Att Mid RCL / Att RCL


Q. What scared you most as a child?
A. Heights.

Q. Who did you support as a child and who were your favourite players?
A. West Ham - Ian Bishop, Trevor Morley, Leroy Rosenior,Tony Cottee and Frank McCavenie.

Q. What's the funniest thing that has happened to you during a match?
A. One off my boots fell apart completely as in the sole just ripped off and I had no spares so kept on playing for 15 minutes!!!!

Q. What's the worst thing anyone has ever done or said to you?
A. Been stitched up with some horrific girls in the past (cheers lads!).

Q. What makes you laugh and why?
A. Sarcasm and old crappy jokes (always the best).

Q. What talent do you wish you had?
A. I wish I could breakdance, can you imagine.

Q. What is your best physical feature?
A. I'll let you decide... ...Answers on a postcard please.

Q. What do you most dislike about your physical apperance?
A. Bit skinny and leightweight sometimes (no-ones perfect).

Q. How do you think other people see you?
A. As a barmy nutter who's got something wrong with him.

Q. And how do you see yourself?
A. As a barmy nutter who's got something wrong with him.

Q. What do you consider your biggest attribute as a player?
A. Well I know it's not:- ball control, skill, vision, stamener, strength or goal scoring, so it doesn't leave much does it - making the tea?

Q. What is your favourite way of relaxing?
A. Watching play-off final West Ham v. Preston in 2005, Bobby Z's goal over 'n' over while entertaining a female from somewhere in Essex.

Q. Who do you knock around with from Loko and why?
A. Anyone who's up for a bit of banter and so long as they don't follow Sheff Utd (love ya really mate).

Picture: Stefan in Hungary trying to win his bet that it is possible to swallow a girls head in one swift move!

Match Report: West Ken Kings v Loko

Sunday 1st October 2006
Barnesalona League

West Ken Kings 2 v Lokomotiv Londres FC 1

Loko lose to the Kings of the west.

A reasonably gritty performance was not enough for Loko in today's clash, with too many battles being lost throughout the pitch. A long throw by Dave, enabled Dale to block the path of the defender trying to clear the ball and enabled Roger (Pictured) to turn eight yards out and find the bottom corner.


A deflected long range effort, together with a poor clearance cost Loko the points in a game that was closely fought, was played in a friendly manner and was an enjoyable game to participate in.

We will look for revenge in the return home game next February.

Final Score West Ken Kings 2 v Loko 1

Caretaker Manager Rohan Tesh's comments:

Not yet provided.

Team Line Up
1. Ismail
2. Paul K
3. Nick
4. Pete
5. Ivan
6. Dave W
7. Dave H
8. Dale (c)
9. Roger
10. Stefan
11. Doug
12. Rohan (Replaced Pete 50th Minute)

Goals
Roger (1)
70th Minute - The ball landed at his feet 8 yards out and he turned his man and placed the ball through the keepers grasp into the bottom right corner.

Other League Results
Barnes 5 v Ladbroke Groovers 2
Hendrix FC 1 v South Auckland Rangers 3
Cosmopolitan FC 1 v Celtic 5
Uncle Bob's FC 6 v Real Madras FC 1

October Fixtures 2006

Sunday 1st October 2006
Barnesalona League
Pitch 2
West Ken Kings v Lokomotiv Londres FC

Result: Lost 2-1

Sunday 8th October 2006
Barnesalona League
Barnes Common
Real Madras FC v Lokomotiv Londres FC

Result: Lost 2-1

Sunday 15th October 2006
Barnesalona Cup
Pitch 1
Lokomotiv Londres FC v Ladbroke Groovers

Result: Won 5-0

Sunday 22nd October 2006
Barnesalona League
Barnes Common
Lokomotiv Londres FC v South Auckland Rangers

Result: Won 3-1

Sunday 29th October 2006
Barnesalona League
Barnes Common
Lokomotiv Londres FC v Real Madras FC

Result: Lost 1-0